Because the CPS/juvenile court system is NOT your friend, and because you are in an adversarial (oppositional) relationship with CPS:

3. Because the CPS/juvenile court system is NOT your friend, and because you are in an adversarial (oppositional) relationship with CPS:

* Do not pour your heart out to CPS. Always remember that anything you say to anyone in the CPS system can, and often will, be used against you. So don't pour your heart out to CPS workers, or to mediators, evaluators, investigators, court personnel, or anyone else. Think before you speak. Always be aware that, a) these workers are experienced at drawing out statements from you that you would not have given if you had time to think about it, b) they have the power to take your child, and c) your words can easily be misrepresented.

Also, be aware that even if you can handle yourself well in business and social situations, it doesn't mean you'll be able to handle yourself well in conversations with the CPS system. This is because the subject matter of your conversations with CPS is so near and dear and painful to your heart. This makes you very vulnerable to the slightest of manipulations. Many CPS workers don't hesitate to play on this vulnerability.

* Decide carefully about when and how to assert your rights. Understand how you are in a double bind when you assert your rights with CPS. Once you realize the risks of saying too much in your conversations with CPS, you might conclude that your best bet is just not talk to CPS at all. After all, like everyone else in America, you have a right to remain silent. Indeed, if you were being accused of a crime in the criminal system, every attorney in the world would advise you to remain silent. 'Don't even talk to the police', they would tell you. 'Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.' Even a person accused of murder has a right to remain silent, and to refuse to cooperate with government officials unless ordered to do so by a judge.

Naturally, you have the same rights to remain silent in your dealings with the CPS system. Additionally, you have a right to refuse to let CPS into your home unless CPS has obtained a search warrant. You have a right not to cooperate with CPS. You have a right not to participate in any of the programs CPS says it wants you to go to. And you have many other rights as well. After all, you live in America, right? And no government agency can start ordering your life around, telling you to do this or that, or to go here or there, if they don't apply due process and present solid evidence in a court of law proving you did something against the law. The only order you have to obey is a judge's order!

But here's the other half of the 'damned if you do, and damned if you don't' dilemma you have with CPS. On the one hand, since you're in an adversarial relationship with CPS, the best legal advice would be for you to assert your rights. On the other hand, CPS wields the ultimate awesome power of being able to take your child with the vaguest of accusations, the most minimal of evidence, and only the very weakest system of due process in place to protect you. And that right there is the catch. The double bind you are in. The terrible injustice and the near tyranny of CPS power.

The legal and evidentiary constraints on CPS powers are so minimal, that if you do assert your rights to CPS, the CPS worker can easily retaliate against you using the system's virtually unchecked power against you. The worker can easily make vague and prejudiced accusations against you such as 'instability', 'alienating your child from the other parent', 'failure to protect', 'should have known about the abuse', or 'engaging in domestic violence' even though you're the victim of the violence. (None of which accusations are crimes.) And then the worker can support that accusation against you in the juvenile court with the smallest tidbit of evidence, even the most bogus of evidence, or with evidence that wouldn't even be admissible in a criminal court. And with that the CPS system can take your child.

(Remember, the CPS/juvenile court system operates on the 'preponderance of the evidence' standard, 51% of the evidence, the lowest judicial standard of evidence. This means that all CPS has to do is present to the court 1% more evidence on their side than you present on your side, and CPS wins. So once CPS makes an accusation against you, it is extremely difficult for you to defend yourself, and very easy for CPS to railroad the case against you.)

* So here are a couple tips for asserting your rights with CPS

All the above adds up to the fact that you have to make some very careful and difficult decisions about if, when, and how you want to assert your rights with CPS. The goal is for you to get the most benefit and protection from asserting your rights while at the same time remaining cooperative enough to keep from triggering CPS into making new accusations against you. Our general advice is that if or when you do assert your rights, be sure to do so in a tone that is cooperative, professional, and polite.

Here are some suggestions for different degrees of asserting your rights:

a. In a situation where a CPS worker intrudes on you and you want to temporarily back them down and keep the situation more under your own control.
For example, if a CPS worker knocks on your door and wants to come into your home, instead of saying, "Show me a search warrant or take a hike!", try this. Give the worker a friendly greeting, and say, "I'm sorry but this time won't work for me. I'm already late getting to an appointment. Please call me tomorrow morning and I'll make an appointment with you."
Or if a CPS worker calls you on the phone, tell the worker you can't talk right now. Tell the worker you'd like to make an appointment later. Or if you're asked a question you don't want to answer, don't say, "That's none of your damn business," no matter how offensive the question. Tell the worker you don't feel the question is relevant, or that you'd like to answer the question at another time. Or, better yet, tell the worker you'd like to answer the question in writing. This gives you time to think through your answer. It guarantees your words won't get misrepresented. And at the same time, it shows your willingness to cooperate.
Keeping meeting times under your control at least gives you psychological advantages as well as the benefit of being able to prepare for your interactions with CPS. It also sends a clear message to the CPS worker that you won't be easily trampled upon. But remember that one rule to live by to make this work best for you is to always keep your manner of communication cooperative, professional, and polite.
Another rule to live by is this. Try not to get upset if the worker gets intimidating or threatening.
For example, if a worker says to you, "Either you let me into your home now, or next time I come back it will be to take your child," don't take the bait! Don't panic. Don't say, "Over my dead body!" Instead, take a breath. Be confident in standing your ground. And just repeat your position, "I'm sorry, I'm late for an appointment. Call me tomorrow and I'll be happy to make an appointment! Remember, CPS workers are fully aware of your rights, so don't let them goad you into relinquishing those rights, or into responding in a way that can later be used against you.
NOTE 1: Yes, there's no doubt about it. It's very difficult to keep your balance emotionally when you're dealing with CPS because just the thought of losing your child strikes at the core of your being. And the thought of losing your child to an unjust abuse of power, ignites every cell in your body into panic and rage. Holding back your instincts in these moments is a near unbearable act of restraint. So you need to remind yourself again and again and again. The best way to save your child is to maintain your cool in all interactions with the CPS system.
NOTE 2: Always write up notes for yourself on these interactions with CPS right after they occur.
b. Set conditions on your dealings with CPS.
Another way of asserting your rights and shifting the balance of power a little more in your favor is by setting conditions on your dealings with CPS. One condition that we highly recommend is that you only meet with CPS if you are permitted to tape record the meetings. Another condition that we highly recommend is that you always have a support person accompany you in all your interactions with the CPS system.
Before you set such conditions, think it through ahead of time. Think it through a couple of moves so that you don't get caught off guard. And so that you can keep things moving in the direction that most suits your needs. What do you want to do if the CPS worker says, 'no, you can't tape record the meeting'? Do you want to give in at that point and go ahead with the meeting? Do you want to go to the worker's supervisor? Do you want to ask that the meeting be postponed until the issue gets resolved? Or do you want to simply walk away and refuse to meet? The only right answer to these questions is the answer you come to after thinking it over ahead of time.
If you want to protest a refusal of any of your conditions, do so in writing. Write a short note to the worker's supervisor or other ranking official. Explain that you want to cooperate, but that you also want the worker to respect your rights. Keep it short. Keep a copy. And remember: cooperative, professional, polite!
NOTE: In California, you have a right to tape record in person meetings either openly or clandestinely, but you do not have a right to secretly tape record telephone conversations. Be sure and check the laws in your state.
c. In situations where you want to fully assert your fundamental rights, always try to do so in writing.
If you want to fully assert your fundamental right to remain silent, or to absolutely refuse unwarranted entry into your home, or to assert any other of the many rights you have, do so as much as possible in writing. Date, write, and sign a very short statement. Make copies for yourself to keep in a safe place. Then deliver, mail, or fax your statement to both the CPS worker and to the head of CPS.
There are a number of form letters on the Internet for asserting your rights with CPS. You can use those letters. Or your notification can be as simple as the following:
Dated
To CPS worker Nancy Wilson,
I am very concerned about my own and my child's welfare. With that concern I am choosing to assert my right to remain silent in this process. I will not have any further conversations with you regarding this case.
Signed
Tricia Martinez,
Mother of Gabriela Martinez